Escaping Toxic Guilt

Escaping Toxic Guilt
Susan Carrell, RN, LPC
McGraw-Hill
ISBN: 978-0-07-149735-0
Non-Fiction Self Help
Reviewed by Shelley Wenger

Escaping Toxic Guilt explains the difference between healthy and toxic guilt. A counselor, Susan Carrell, explains how guilt can be the cause for many behaviors. Many problems are caused by unnecessary guilt. Using cases (of course with changes), Carrell shows readers practical cases where guilt is behind problems. For example, a mother may feel guilty for breaking up a family, so she tries to make it up to her child and, in turn, lets the child get away with anything. The child grows up unruly and gets into trouble. Guilt is often the cause that marriages stay together. Religion is another big cause of guilt. Many religions make people feel guilty if they do not live up to high standards. Toxic guilt is not healthy. The second half of the book, Carrell tells readers how to let go of guilt, along with more examples.

The five steps of getting rid of toxic guilt are to speak the truth, claim territory, brace for the storm, ride the wind, and patrol borders. The first step is to tell someone how you feel. The second is to be ready to stand up to your beliefs. Brace the storm is being ready for the challenges that may come your way. As a people pleaser, this step is very hard. It helps to be prepared with possible outcomes and how to handle them. A support system is very helpful, but only if you have the right people standing beside you. Riding the wind is letting go. Sometimes it is even letting go of your beliefs that you are fighting against. The last step, patrolling borders, shows readers that you may have to fight and fight but you need to regain control and keep it.

Escaping Toxic Guilt is a very informative book. Susan Carrell uses real life stories which really help readers understand her concepts. It is amazing to realize how much guilt people carry and the different way it shows. I am hoping to take a lot of the information from this book and apply it to my own life. I am a definite people pleaser who often looses herself in others. Escaping Toxic Guilt allowed me to realize how much of myself I am loosing and how it does not really allow me to feel better. I am hoping to use the steps to become a stronger person who takes care of myself.