Parenting is a Contact Sport

Parenting is a Contact Sport
Joanne Stern
Greenleaf Book Group Press
ISBN: 978-1929774227
Non-Fiction, Self-Help
Reviewed by Muhammed Hassanali

Most parents will agree that parenting is not simple, and what works for one child or situation does not work for another. Nevertheless, we love our children no matter how different they are and want to do what we believe is the best for them. Most parenting books for young children focus on developing a routine and a fair discipline system. The focus is more short term so we learn to live with each other. Parenting books for older children tend to focus on specific issues they face (teen pregnancies, drugs, etc). This book differentiates itself from other parenting books in that its main focus is on building relationships with our children. While the principles discussed can be extrapolated to other relationships, the book’s focus is primarily on the children.

Each chapter begins with an extended example in the form of a personal story. The story is then followed by more stories in an attempt to build a general framework. At the end of the chapter is a “letter” written by the author to her daughters. The book then reads more like a personal narrative than one on parenting concepts. The underlying assumption (as suggested by the title and reinforced by the narrative) is that good parenting involves being physically present for one’s children. While the presence of parents is important for child-rearing, the physical presence (as the book suggests) is not always required. Consider some of the work done in single parent families where one of the parents has paid the ultimate price for something higher. Or some of the work done on families separated due to political conditions. While these are unusual cases, lessons gleaned from such instances can be used to develop a more enriched theory of parenting.
Overall, the book reads like a series of personal anecdotes with references to broad relational concepts. These concepts are applicable to not just parenting, but to any relationship. Practical parenting is littered with nuances approaches to child-rearing, and unfortunately this book does not adequately address the depth and richness of these nuances.