The Flight from Intimacy

The Flight from Intimacy
Barry and Janae Weinhold, PhD’s
New World Library
ISBN: 978-57731-605-3
Non-Fiction, Psychology
Reviewed by Dr. Tami Brady

In Breaking Free of the Co-dependency Trap, the authors looked to the true causes of co-dependency. They stated that 98% of the human population is co-dependent and that this reflected stilted emotional development caused by unmet needs in the first six months of life. Essentially, psychological development is halted at this point so that the individual can find what he or she needs to resolve the situation.
Counter-dependency is another major concern to healthy human development. Counter-dependency is the opposite of co-dependency. Whereas co-dependent people look to others (or substances) to solve their issues; individuals who are counter-dependent refuse to depend upon anyone. They attempt to be completely independent and isolate themselves from others.
Counter-dependency begins between the ages of six months and three years. At this age, children are beginning to explore their surroundings. If they have the unconditional love and security of their parents, children eagerly learn about their surroundings and begin to become independent people. If during this exploration the child is abused or otherwise traumatized, the child learns that the world is an unsafe place and that he or she can’t trust anyone. To the outside world this individual might seem to have it all together but underneath they are miserable and completely alone.